How To Understand Men
Men Are From Mars
How many times have you heard the phrase “Men are from Mars?”. I’ve heard it and i’ve also said it! How many times have you phoned your girlfriend and said I don’t understand what he is thinking?”. Or asking them “Why do you think he did this?”. How many times have you sat there puzzled at something your man has done or said?
We have all tried to find our way through our man’s mind and thought maze! Often we get completely lost and at the end we are still none the wiser. We listen to various theories offered to us by our girlfriends. The more we analyse him, the more confused we become!
I used to wish my man came with an instruction manual! Or i could use a crystal ball to understand what goes on in a mans mind. I struggled for years to understand men.
Then i understood. Men aren’t really from Mars. They don’t need to come with an instruction manual to understand them. We don’t need a crystal ball to understand how their minds work. Understanding men isn’t as hard as you think!
How to Understand Him
How do you understand men? Where do you start? There’s a few good ways to start. Firstly listen to what he is saying and don’t fill in the blanks for him. This is a road to assumption. Female assumption. When we fill in the blanks or assume, we are assuming from our point of view. A woman’s point of view.
We analyse him from a woman’s point of view. From how a woman would think. How a woman would respond and behave. But he’s not a woman! He’s a man!
Men don’t think like women. Fact. They don’t process thoughts like women. Fact. They aren’t as emotionally wired as women. Fact! So if you are doing this with your man you are wasting your time. By doing this you aren’t allowing him to be a man. You are putting him down for not being a woman! Men aren’t as complicated as women. We make them more complicated! How to understand men is as easy as starting to listen to them and what they are really saying. Not what you think they are saying.
How Men Think
Men think in a much more simpler way, without being as emotionally charged as women. An example of this would be if a man wants to go out with his friends for a drink. He’s going out for a drink. That’s it. As women we can often think what is he doing when he’s out? Who is he talking to? Then we text him, making sure he knows we are here. That we want to know what is he doing. Then we want him home. If this is how you react when your man is out of your sight, this shows that you have trust issues with your man and also yourself. You should be trusting his feelings for you.
Another example could be when your man comes home from work and is quiet. He’s not very talkative today. You ask him what is wrong. He replies with “nothing”. So what do we do? We think something is wrong. He’s not himself. He’s keeping secrets from me. I must have done something wrong. So you ask him again. You get frustrated as he isn’t giving you the answer that you have already decided for him as to what his problem is. He gets annoyed. Off he goes into his man cave. You know the man cave? That’s the place he goes where he won’t communicate with you. He won’t be coming out of there for a while. He thinks you don’t believe what he says and that you aren’t listening to him. And he’s right!
The way to handle this was after his response of “nothing”, is to do NOTHING! Maybe make him a drink and leave him alone. Let him wind down. Let him watch tv. Busy yourself doing something else. Trust me he will be fine and seeking you out when hes had some time to himself. Understanding how men think is essential to a successful relationship.
Does He Love Me?
This is a million dollar question that women constantly ask in understanding their man. How do you know if you man loves you? We worry that he dosen’t say it often enough. Then we worry that his feelings are changing towards us!
Men show us how they feel by what they do. He can do this by choosing to spend the evening with you watching a dvd, instead of watching the football. He takes the rubbish out or makes you a drink. He makes you breakfast in bed. He massages your feet whilst you are watching tv. He text’s you to tell you that you are great. He talks about you to his friends. He tells his family how great you are. These are all signs that a man is in love! Men demonstrate and show you their feelings.
But wait! You are just about to say, my man dosen’t do anything like that for me. I have to nag him to get him to do anything. So my question is do you appreciate anything he does for you? When he does something do you tell him that you appreciate it? That you love it when he does those things that you expect him to do for you? If you appreciate what your man does and tell him, trust me he will do it even more! He will feel valued by you. He will feel that you need him and want him. Learn about how to understand men to have the relationship you want.
Have The Relationship You Want
By changing how you understand men, you will be one step further to having the relationship that you have always wanted. We often find ourselves in relationships wondering what is going wrong, when we are often sub conciously doing the same things in the same way, without understanding what impact they can have.
I changed how i thought by reading Bob Grants book on understanding men. Women make men complicated by not listening to what they are saying. Men want to be in a loving relationship with love and appreciation. Just like women do. In that way, we aren’t that different at all! When we understand men, we understand ourselves and the relationship that we want to have.
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